Existance

You might think you know what it’s like

To weigh a lot of weight

But you don’t know the half of it,

Till you’re carrying my kind of freight.

You probably know I can’t cross my legs

Though I usually don’t complain;

But some of the other things I can’t do

Would probably drive you insane.

I can’t get my wedding rings off,

I have trouble tying my shoe,

When I bend over, I can’t catch my breath.

It’s kind of hard not to be blue.

Walking would just about kill me,

If I had to do it too much,

My back starts to hurt, and I have to sit

With the old folks and babies and such.

I’m so completely miserable

You’d think that I would stop,

But on and on I push myself

To eat until I pop.

It isn’t the hunger, don’t you know,

That keeps me on this course,

Just what it is I couldn’t say,

But it keeps getting worse.

Have you ever owned a pair of pants

That buttoned on the side? Well I can’t wear mine anymore

Cause I can’t reach my side.

It seems that on more days than not

I’d just as soon be hiding

But it’s so hard to find a place

Where my feelings stop colliding.

Now common sense should tell you

This is not about the food.

And how I look is not

What’s causing this bad mood.

Something’s getting way too close

My mind’s not occupied;

I’ve got to stay distracted,

And find a place to hide.

I’ve got that queasy feeling

…Every nerve is raw..

I guess it’s somewhat comfortable

To focus on my flaws.

Sometimes it gets real scary

And all I do is cry,

Maybe it’s a death whish

But I don’t think I want to die.

On the other hand, I wonder,

How much bigger can I get?

I’m afraid of self-destructing-

Can’t I ever pay this debt?

By far the easy thing,

Would be to walk away

From this mission that I’m on,

And keep the wolves at bay.

For I’m very used to hiding-

I don’t like to be exposed.

Maybe it would be the best

To keep this chapter closed.

After all, I tell myself,

Who am I to say

That someone special lives inside

Who I might know one day?

Except I think there maybe is…

And that’s what helps me cope,

…a little flicker from inside…

That’s what gives me hope.

Category: Articles